Post by ©|Re-ne, the Effigy| on Jun 9, 2006 12:55:08 GMT -5
Miss High and Mighty? Sounds like something from my Secret Diaries of...Hm.
But anyway, I have a little criticism. You could probably space out where each cat is talking, into paragrapghs, just to make it look neater. Also, you ask a lot of questions to the reader. For example:
'Did she give up?'
'Who was it?'
I think this is kind of unnecessary, since the reader really doesn't care. They are bound to find out anyway.
You probably could of added a little more explanation to the prologue as well, but that's just me. It leaves me hanging!
Anyway, this is the start of something pretty good. Keep it up!
But anyway, I have a little criticism. You could probably space out where each cat is talking, into paragrapghs, just to make it look neater. Also, you ask a lot of questions to the reader. For example:
'Did she give up?'
'Who was it?'
I think this is kind of unnecessary, since the reader really doesn't care. They are bound to find out anyway.
You probably could of added a little more explanation to the prologue as well, but that's just me. It leaves me hanging! Anyway, this is the start of something pretty good. Keep it up!
